Two People Exchanging Saliva

Well it certainly wasn’t sponsored by Colgate. Indeed, that is probably just about as illegal in this French society as Semtex. Kissing isn’t even mentionable let alone do-able, and sales in garlic chewing gum are rocketing. Every morning before she enters her plush department store for work, “Malaise” (Luàna Bajrami) has to breathe on the face of a security guard on the staff entrance (so heaven only knows how long he lasted before he keeled over from the effects of halitosis or, indeed, any flu bug). Her job was really just to ply the exclusive clientele with champagne but one day she encounters “Angine” (Zar Amir Ebrahimi) and they pretend that they have been friends for ages - much to the chagrin of the more experienced “Pétulante” (Aurélie Boquien). Just to cap this entirely surreal environment, there isn’t any need for Mastercard either as they pay in slaps. The seller slaps the face - gently but firmly - a number of times depending on how much the buyer has been spent. Quite how that funds the economy isn’t explained, but suffice to say that the regular meetings between these two women begins to arouse some suspicions. Now think on this. How often might you speak with your neighbour if he hadn’t cleaned his teeth for sixty-two years? It’s outlandish, but oddly civilised. There’s no dystopia here, nor chaos nor ruined buildings. It is the height of consumer opulence served up on a platter of absurdity steeped in abysmal dental hygiene and clown-like facial make-up. There might also be the beginnings of a love story, but you’ll need to watch and see. Aren’t we lucky John Waters’ scratch and sniff movies didn’t take off?