Stop! That! Train!

When their low-cost railway line goes bust, trolley-dollies "Tess" (Ginger Minj) and best pal "DeeDee" (Jujubee) find themselves jobless. Not for long, though, as they overhear that the luxury "Glamazonian" service has been left in the lurch and needs two new staff urgently. Smuggling themsleves on board, they don their snazzy red uniforms only to discover that the first class cabin is staffed by rivals from their days at the hostess training school. With a gentle rivalry now simmering away, the service departs on it's trip to Florida. Meantime, back in the national storm control centre, the bespectacled and geeky "Donna" (Rachel Bloom) has realised that the train is hurtling into the path of a "stormaganza" and it has to be stopped. When news of this impending tragedy reaches the popularity-hungry "President Gagwell" (RuPaul) she decides that it's time for her to don her spray-on leather suit and revert back to her days in President Reagan's railway force and try to help save the day. Jeopardy? Of course not. This isn't an adventure movie at all; it's a camp parody of just about every transport disaster movie with a little bit of "Twister" thrown in too. The writing is puerile, but somehow I think that's the plan - it's supposed to be using a variety of successful drag artistes to ridicule an entire cinema genre whilst taking a pop at glamour (or lack of it) with a script riddled with innuendo and character stereotypes. Sadly, though, the quality of the dialogue hasn't anywhere near enough pace or humour to sustain ninety minutes of screen time and though this does have it's moments, moments is all they are as most of the rest of it is often quite cringe-making and unimaginative. "Carry On Camping on a Train"?