Premature

Accountant "Cameron" (James Rottger) is cleaning his teeth before a big job interview one morning when his flatmate "Eilidh" (Elle Watson) drops a bit of a bombshell. She's expecting after their recent one-night stand. Quite why she had to tell him abruptly like that isn't clear, but for me it rather set the tone of this messy drama that misses way more than it hits for the next ninety minutes. What do they do now? Well a termination might seem the best solution, but then we'd have no film so they decide to try to raise the baby together. First thing - get a second-hand cot? That process is the base for a really ridiculous series of scenarios that had one woman in my cinema shout at the screen - "Just go and buy a bloody cot!" Hear, hear, thought I! Then he gets a dream job offer - and so has to make some choices which are bound to insert a few more bones of contention between this couple who have hitherto given us every impression that a couple is exactly what they aren't, nor really want to be. What's going to happen now? Of course there isn't any jeopardy, in fact there really isn't very much of a story here either as these two deliver something flimsy and often quite embarrassing to watch. In some ways it reminded me of an edition of that "Some Mother's Do 'Ave Em!" BBC sitcom from the 1970s. Their characterisations start off undercooked and remain that way and as it meandered along predictably, I did fear for the future of any child that might end up being brought up by two of the least capable or interesting people ever to have had sex. It's Scottish. I'm Scottish. Maybe I'm supposed to appreciate this out of loyalty - but sadly it's just another example of lottery-funded storytelling that borders on the twee and only has a future on telly.